The other day, a friend asked a group of us pastors how leaders can better listen to input from others, including women in the congregation. He wrote,

“I’m trying to think through helpful ways of listening to perspectives and voices in the church – in addition to the church business meeting itself – to assist us as (all-male) elders in our decision-making where we may have blind spots or limited experience or sensitivity. Eg women, people from different backgrounds, those with some expertise etc. Are there things you do? Gather elders wives occasionally? Invite a representative group to be a sounding board? Proactively seek out individuals with wisdom/expertise/experience in an area? Elicit wisdom from those outside the church? Other things? Would love to hear any thoughts.”

Here was my response:

That is a great question. Thanks for challenging us to become better leaders and listeners. Here are some thoughts…

Be Approachable. Maintain a spirit of transparency and approachability. More than anything else, leaders are to be marked by humility. Yes, we need conviction and confidence, but we must also be willing to listen, to learn, to hear an appeal, to consider other viewpoints, even to admit when wrong. Questions ought to be treated with dignity rather than defensiveness. Try not to take criticism too personally. Avoid a mindset that leaders are “God’s anointed” and above ever being questioned. The fact you are asking this question and care about the perspective of others is a great indication you are already doing this!

Share Updates. You already mentioned congregational business meetings. Those are a good time for promoting transparency and sharing ministry updates. People appreciate being kept in the loop. Smaller meetings of committees or ministry teams that feature some diversity can be valuable times of sharing and receiving feedback. In particular, I’ve found deacons/deaconesses to be an invaluable source of wisdom, and usually represent a good cross section of the congregation. Apart from elders and staff, they can be the quickest way to test ideas and put a finger on the pulse of the congregation.

Solicit Input. There have been a handful of times in my ministry where we as leaders wanted to make a bigger change, and began by teaching on it and announcing it to the congregation. We then gave opportunity for people to ask questions or voice concerns. Bigger changes like hiring a new staff member, changing church polity or legal documents, or certain changes in philosophy of ministry might need a special meeting that is more of an open forum to process and clarify such changes. These are not a time to vote, but rather to inform and give people from all backgrounds a chance to be heard. You could also ask elders or staff to contact some of the people under their care and ask for their input or if they have any questions in a survey-style.

Discourage gossip. This is a bit of a side-note, but I think it’s worth mentioning here. Open lines of communication help prevent gossip. The Bible warns repeatedly against gossip, slander, malice, and a divisive spirit (Rom. 16:17-18; 1 Cor. 1:10-11; Titus 3:10-11; Eph. 4:29-32). Change is hard, and many issues become personal very quickly. Encourage people to walk in the Spirit, to bear the fruit of the spirit, to be praying, to think before they speak, and to avoid the temptation to slip into gossip, complaining, or a divisive spirit. Rather, they should build up one another in love, and hope in the best in others.

Practicing the above principles, I believe we can become “quick to hear” (James 1:19), “open to reason” (James 3:17), and more sensitive to the perspectives of others.