A couple weeks ago, I was invited to preach at Gateway Seminary chapel as part of their fall chapel series “David: Leadership Formation from Calling to Commission.”

Through the story of David and Abigail, we learned about criticism, the temptation to get revenge, and the importance of waiting on God’s time. If you’d like to watch the video, you can watch the embedded video above or click here to open the Gateway Youtube page.

Full sermon notes are below. For a list of other sermons arranged by both Bible passage and topic, please check out my “Sermon Hub” page. Thanks for watching!

DAVID SEEKS REVENGE
(1 SAMUEL 25)
GATEWAY SEMINARY FALL 2022

Introduction
• Grace and peace from Immanuel Baptist Church to all the faculty, staff, and students at Gateway Seminary both here in person and those watching online. It’s a joy to partner together in the gospel.
• This morning I invite you to turn with me to 1 Samuel 25. I understand that you’ve spent the fall semester learning about the life and ministry of David, and leadership lessons for us today. It’s possible by now that you’re getting sick and tired of David. Hopefully not.
• If you want to learn about leadership, you can’t just read textbooks or look at abstract descriptions. You really need to see it. And David is a model specimen. David shows us the highs and the lows, the triumphs and temptations of being a leader. There’s no “book of David” in the Bible, but you could almost say that four whole books of the Bible are dedicated to his life, his heart, and his ministry. You have 1&2 Samuel, 1 Chronicles, and the book of Psalms that are largely dedicated to this complex and often inspiring character.
• Today, we want to focus on a particular episode in David’s life when he lets his pride get in the way, and almost jeopardizes his future kingdom.
• If you are a leader, opposition will come. Not a matter of if, but when. For most of you, it already has. Leadership by its very nature invites criticism. You learn very quickly everyone has an opinion. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s part of what gives us diversity. The key is to listen to those opinions and value them, but then think and pray and decide what you believe would honor God and bring about the greatest good.
• Even now, some of you may be distracted by some recent conflict. You’re still processing how to respond to that email you received this morning, or what you’re going to do about that conversation Sunday after church. Maybe you’re haunted by a critical comment or discouraged and fearful about confrontation that lies ahead.
• This story provides the secret to perseverance, even when there is opposition. First…

Resist the Urge to Retaliate (1-17)
• Read through v. 13
• The story begins with David going down to the wilderness of Paran. You can see this area up on the map. I had the privilege of traveling in Israel back in college, and the thing I remember about this area is that Maon was a very steep hill, and it was very windy at the top! (See photos)
• It was sheep shearing season. Probably late spring, around harvest time. A festive season, a time of abundance.
• David makes a reasonable request. He is gracious and diplomatic. His platoon of men are probably low on supplies and could use a good morale boost. They’ve been on the run for quite a while. He even invites Nabal go ask your men to verify details (v. 8).
• But Nabal refuses. His name נָבָל literally means “fool” or “stupidity.” And he really lives up to his name! Isaiah 32:6 For the fool speaks folly, and his heart is busy with iniquity, to practice ungodliness, to utter error concerning the LORD, to leave the craving of the hungry unsatisfied, and to deprive the thirsty of drink.
• When David hears Nabal’s reply, his expression drops, and he loses his temper. “No one treats me this way,” he thinks. His curse in v. 22 is quite profane.
• See also down in vv. 21-22.
• There will be times you will experience criticism. It comes with the territory.
• Early in my ministry our property committee decided we should add a couple extra electrical outlets to the church office. So a couple of the guys came in on Saturday to do the job. I showed up the next morning, and was asked point blank “Why didn’t I have the tenacity to be there and help?” Now, I knew all about Acts 6, and that my goal was to devote myself to the ministry of the word and to prayer. I know absolutely nothing about electrical work, and you really don’t want me trying to rewire something. But these two men felt I was slacking off and not supporting a work day at church. It was a very little thing, and an unrealistic expectation, but the words still stung, and at a time I was still trying to build rapport and gain the respect of men in the church, this seemed like a major setback. Thankfully, as time went on, they understood a little bit better that I couldn’t be at everything, and that it was in their interest that I focus on shepherding and leave the electrical work to others.
• Just expect that you will be criticized. People will question your motives. They’ll call you names. Your faults will be exaggerated. Your qualities will be minimized. Not by everyone. But by a few. And it sure can hurt. You’ll be second-guessed and slandered. At some point, you may even be betrayed. But in it all, resist the urge to retaliate!
• Matthew 5:38–39 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
• That is easier said than done. You’re going to have to swallow your pride, and move past some things that deeply hurt. Yes, you say, but won’t that person just do it again? It’s possible. If I just turn the other cheek, isn’t the victim enabling the abuser? (Abuse is a very serious thing. We’re not talking here today about physical or sexual abuse. Law enforcement are ordained by God to carry the sword and help protect you against physical harm. That’s a separate issue) Just keep in mind that much of what today is called emotional abuse or micro-aggression is referred by another word in the Bible…sin. As leaders, we will be sinned against. We will be opposed. And in many cases, we will turn the other cheek, recognize we are in good company with Christ himself, and we will keep on shepherding God’s sheep.
• David almost retaliates. In v. 13, “sword” (חֶרֶב cherev) is used 3x for emphasis. It’s payback time. David is locked and loaded, so to speak. In fact his finger is basically pulling back on the trigger when one young man intervenes…
• Read vv. 14-17.
• >>In just a moment, we ‘ll see Abigail’s response, but first, resist the urge to retaliate. Think before you speak. Turn the other cheek. Take your burdens to the Lord in prayer. And then, listen to wise counsel. This brings us to our second point…

Listen to Wise Counsel (18-35)
• Read vv. 18-23. Any fool can pick a fight. But it takes a wise person to de-escalate a situation, stay open to reason, and listen to good counsel. Proverbs 26:21 A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. (NLT)
• In contrast we see Abigail. She was introduced to us back in v. 3 as “discerning and beautiful.” Her name probably means “my father’s joy” or “my divine father (i.e., Yahweh) is (my) joy (Harry Hoffner, EEC). Her wisdom provides a stunning contrast to the foolishness of her husband, and even the hot temper of David in this text. How many of us would have made some very stupid decisions if it hadn’t been for our wives!
• Her gift is generous – a sort of peace offering. But her words are what really get David’s attention. This is an exquisite speech. Read vv. 24-31.
• Abigail strikes the perfect balance, both showing herself a wise and submissive woman while disagreeing with her husband and even reversing his decision, for his benefit. She truly lives up to biblical description as one was “discerning and beautiful” (3).
• Several things I want you to notice…
• Her words are thoughtful. She keeps her composure, succeeding where David initially fails. In a very short amount of time, she crafts and carries out a plan to calm David and his men down. Cooler heads are beginning to prevail.
• Her words are reverent. Nabal was an egotistical fool He used the word “I” or “my” 8x in his speech in v. 11. Meanwhile, Abigail refers to the Lord (Yahweh) 7 times in 7 verses (26, 28-31). She understands God’s power, his sovereignty, his holiness, his care, his faithfulness, and his justice. She is really speaking on his behalf.
• Her words are prophetic. Reference to David’s royal blood and future dynasty. “the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the LORD, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live” (28). Reminiscent of the Davidic Covenant. 2 Samuel 7:11 … I will give you rest from all your enemies. Moreover, the LORD declares to you that the LORD will make you a house. These words are eventually fulfilled in Jesus Christ, the Son of David and rightful heir to the throne.
• Abigail illustrates the types of people we should seek wise counsel from. Where do you get your counsel? Who are your closest counselors? Your spouse should be one of your closest friends and advisers. Also, you want to have at least 2or3 good friends that you can talk to at any time, be completely transparent, and that they can speak into your life at any time, keep you accountable, and offer wisdom. Listen to people who are wise, and are who are close to the situation. Don’t put more stock in the words of a celebrity pastor who lives across the country than a spiritual leader who knows you personally and can speak directly into your life. Try to surround yourself with wise and discerning people like Abigail at every opportunity.
• Notice how David responds. Read vv. 32-35. David turns aside, and says to his men, let’s go back to camp. He admits he almost made a grave mistake, and would have been guilty of murder. Now this is the David we see in the chapters before and after, toward Saul. A man after God’s own heart who does not take the law into his own hands.
• Maybe you have someone in your life right now who has hurt you and that you need to forgive. You’ve let the wound fester, and it’s souring your attitude and poisoning your prayer life. You need to give it to the Lord, and ask for his power to forgive. You say, but how do I do that? Maybe they haven’t even said they’re sorry.
• It can be very helpful to understand there are two types of forgiveness: dispositional forgiveness, and transactional forgiveness.
• Alfred Poirier: Dispositional Forgiveness. “If we are the injured party, we have an inner readiness to forgive and a resolve to love our enemy. We do not dwell on the offense by holding it against him, nor do we gossip to others about it. Rather, we are poised to offer the promises of forgiveness to an offender who confesses, and to release him from the debt of the offense against us……In other words, we take the initiative to do everything that can be done to be reconciled. Furthermore, in the likeness of our Lord, we are not overcome by our offender’s evil, but we overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:21), showing kindness, tolerance, and patience (Rom. 2:4). And we continue to speak the truth in love, in the hope that God will grant the offender repentance and lead them to confess their sin and ask our forgiveness. (p. 156)” That is step one.
• Transactional Forgiveness: “Transactional forgiveness completes the forgiveness process…Both the offended and the offender are involved – the offended rebuking, the offender repenting; the offender confessing, the offended granting forgiveness…The bilateral nature of this transaction is clearly evident. Both parties are laboring in love. As such, forgiveness can be made in full. (pp. 156-57)”
• >>Review: Resist the Urge to Retaliate. Listen to Wise Counsel. And…

Wait on God’s Time (36-44)
• David lets God deal with Nabal rather than doing things his own way. Let’s see what happens next…
• Read 25:36-44.
• It’s an almost fairy tale ending. The villain gets justice, and the hero gets the girl. If only it always happened this quickly!
• When David sends for Abigail, she gladly consents. In fact, she may have been subtly offering herself to him as a future bride when she said in v. 31 to “remember her.” God is not condoning polygamy here, but he did permit it at times in ancient Israel.
• Nabal’s “heart dying” may be a reference to a stroke or heart attack, but this is not so much a medical diagnosis as saying his spirit was crushed and he would soon be followed by God’s judgment.
• Much of the Christian life will be spent waiting.
• Psalm 37:7 Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land. That is from Psalm 37 written by – you guessed it – David!

Conclusion
• It’s hard to wait, but it’s worth it in the end.
• Waiting produces endurance, and according to Romans 5:4, “endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”
• God is building within you the virtue of forbearance: Dr. Iorg: “Forbearance, a stronger word than patience but closely related, is one fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It’s a fruit that grows only under duress. To produce this fruit you need prolonged pressure, tension, or difficulty. God arranges those circumstances in a number of ways – through illness, personal crisis, ministry challenges, or through a persistent critic. Sometimes all you can do is endure and mature.” -The Painful Side of Leadership.
• The trial you are going through right now, or that person that has deeply hurt you, could be the very fire God is using to refine you, to humble you, and to draw you closer into the arms of Jesus, the true Suffering Servant. It won’t be easy. But don’t give up. Wait on the Lord. Sometimes all you can do is endure and mature. Let’s pray.